Best Type of Relationships

Are those with Boundaries.

As a Christian Counselor, I am sometimes asked by clients, does the bible give instructions on how to set boundaries? I share with you today, what I share with my clients. The answer is yes. The word of God instructs us, on how to build meaningful relationships with healthy limits. In fact, as you open the Bible, the first, demonstrated act of God, is setting boundaries. Genesis 1:29 describes, how God, instructing man, who He loves, the limits of their meal consumptions. God, set boundaries for the sun and the moon. The Sun was to rule by day and the moon by night. Boundaries are essential for law and order. In the book of Matthews 26:36 NIV, Jesus, traveling with His disciples, instructs, them to stay at a distance, for Him to go "over there and pray".

Boundaries, help bring authenticity and transparency to relationships. If you find yourself, doing things you regret, feeling bad after you have agreed to an act of service; or frustrated that you allowed another to perform an act of services you would have preferred they left alone, then, it is safe to say, you lack boundaries. Here are somethings you can begin to do, to set healthy boundaries to improve your relational experiences.

1. Roles. What is your responsibility to the person you are relating too. Identifying your role in the said individuals lives, will help set appropriate boundaries. For example, the limits you set with your family maybe different to that you set with a co-worker.

2. Rest=Best. Remind yourself, you are of no good to anyone, tired and depleted. Like Jesus, we have to know when to "go over there" where no one is, to rest our minds, emotional state of our brains and body.

3. NO. You want to remember no, is healthy. When you cannot say no, it is an indication of pride among other emotional state. Your desire to always say yes, indicate, you are the only one that can be used by God to serve those around you. Saying no, allow space for God to use others. Saying no, reminds you, that you, cannot do it all, at all times.

Practice using these phrases:

• I would love to...but.... maybe next time. This phrase allows you to relay your desire to help; while providing the reason you are unable to help; and the possibility of helping in the future if the occasion should arise again.

• I can come but I have to leave by....... This phrase allows the individual to know, your time is limited. This act may also promote, the need for quality time.

• I can help, but I need volunteers to help with.... This phrase, set the expectation, that assistance is needed for your assistance to be provided.

• I felt uncomfortable when...... This phrase, allow you to express your feelings without accusation. This structure state, how you feel and why.

• I cannot do xyz, instead, would that work? This phrase, express to others what you are not capable of doing at set time, and provide them with alternative of what can be done.

The above list are just samples of what, you can begin to do today, to build healthy relationships that you and those you relate too can enjoy. If you find it difficult to set boundaries, I encourage you to sign up, for a free consultation. You can call 404-857-5397 or sign on this site, to start identifying the underlying reason for your need to say yes. As a former people pleaser, I know firsthand, how frustrating and depleting that can be. I can help you.

Be blessed.