Anger Out of Control? Here’s Why You Can’t Afford to Ignore It Any Longer.

Anger is a powerful emotion. Anger, if left unmanaged, can lead to behavioral patterns that can harm the person and others. This unmanaged anger will lead the individual to act out of alignment with the will of God. Anger is rooted in a feeling of injustice and/or unmet expectations. (Coleman, B. 2020). Anger is also an emotion that God recognizes as part of the human make-up. God expects man to become angry at times. However, God cautions a man to be watchful of his behavior in anger. (Ephesians 4:26, NKJV, 1997).  Anger derives from the emotional center of the brain, the amygdala, and the limbic system. Anger is a primary feeling that is innate and part of the survival mechanism of the brain. (Bailey, B. Ph.D. 2022). Anger is one of the emotions that is generated when we believe we have been mismanaged. If a person believes he/she is entitled to a certain treatment and/or possession, delay or denial thereof will produce anger. Anger has physiological effects on the body. Although anger starts with a thought such as, “how dare they do this to me” or “I do not deserve such treatment” and/or that is “unfair.” Those thoughts promote the emotional state of anger, which has biological markers. The nervous system releases hormones that prepare the body to fight or flee when it is at a high level of stress. These hormones cause a dilation of the pupils to help vision; increase breathing rate to promote oxygen flow; the heart rate increases, allowing blood to flow towards the brain and the heart, among other physiological responses that alert the individual that anger is triggered. (Kolk, V.D, B, 2015). If a thought can cause an individual to lose themselves in anger, then a thought can help manage it. It is written in wisdom literature; a man will behave in the way he thinks. (Proverbs 23:7, NKJV, 1997). The ability to be angry and manage the anger to not harm oneself and/or others begins in your mind. Anger is not always displayed in a destructive format. Secondary feelings like hate, frustration, being critical of others, hurt, threatened, mad, and aggressive are what an individual may feel when angry. (Bailey, B. Ph.D. 2022). The individual, when triggered, needs to recognize these feelings and be able to manage them. The goal is not to control your anger. Control is a form of suppressing. If anger is a sign that something needs attention, then anger needs to be managed, processed to help the individual come out of danger, gain insight into, and/or solve problems. A person that is given the right tools can manage themselves. (Pugh, K. T, & Pugh, P., T. 2021). An individual needs to eat right, get rest, and develop emotional awareness to help manage their situations. (Pugh, K. T, & Pugh, P., T. 2021).  It is written in the Bible for believers to manage their thoughts by acknowledging the thoughts, being aware of how the thoughts are guiding their behavior, to discern if those thoughts align with the Bible. (2 Corinthians 10:5 NKJV, 1997). People seek counseling for anger management because they can’t control their anger. When they are angry, they react in ways that hurt others emotionally and/or physically.  Unmanaged anger can lead to murder. It is also written in the Bible, a person can change their behavior by changing their thoughts. (Romans 12:2 NKJV, 1997). Emotions influence our thoughts (Allen, J. 2020). Thoughts influence behavior (Bailey, B. Ph.D. 2022). A counselor can help individuals perform introspection to identify their anger and why they are angry. At times, clients may not want to admit their secondary feeling of frustration is a result of anger. It is easier to believe that the targets of their frustration are to blame or even lack patience. Individuals must accept their state to begin to manage it. (Pugh, K. T, & Pugh, P., T. 2021). You can only help yourself if you take ownership of your state. You must acknowledge your anger. (Goleman, B. 2019). According to Becky A. Bailey, after an individual acknowledges they are angry, they must pause to think through the anger. (2022). They must be aware of the effects of anger on their bodies and why. A person can only change with awareness of one’s present state as it is, not as they wish it to be. (Pugh, K. T, & Pugh, P., T. 2021). After the individual processes their anger, they must decide how they will respond. They must remember that actions are taken by choice. A person’s actions do not just happen to them; they are chosen by them. (Bailey, B. Ph.D. 2022). After a person has become aware of what it is, they decide on what action to take. (Deuteronomy 30:19, NKJV. 1997).

In conclusion, anger management is a demand placed in need of being addressed. A counselor using the person-centered approach in counseling, where the person is empowered to enact change in their lives, is one of the best approaches to anger management. (Pugh, K. T, & Pugh, P., T. 2021). The self-regulating technique of the counselor will help you utilize will give you the tools to first acknowledge your emotional state, take a pause to process that anger, and decide based on a new perspective of the situation to solve. (Bailey, B. Ph.D. 2022) is the beginning step to anger management.

REFERENCES

Allen, J. (2020). Get Out Of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts (pp.3-36)

Bailey, A. B, (2022). Managing Emotional Mayhem: The Five Steps For Self-Regulation (pp.14-77)

Goleman, B. (2019). Emotional Intelligence: For A Better Life, Success At Work, And Happier Relationships. Improve Your Social Skills, Emotional Agility And Discover Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. (EQ 2.0)

Pugh, P. T & Pugh, K. T (2021). God’s Design For Marriage: Marital & Premarital Workbook

Van Der Kolk, A. B. (2015). The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind, And Body In The Healing Of Trauma